3 years ago...

3 years ago I woke today in a hotel. It was the morning after one of the toughest, no THE toughest moment of my life. Nothing really compares to holding your baby while they take their last breath. I woke up knowing I was changed forever. I carry with me now an "angel". Do I believe she's in a heaven, no not really. I do however believe that those we love carry in with us...inside us. They need us to remember for them, to live for them. So Kaitlin lives on with us...she's the quiet whisper of inspiration behind every miscarriage blanket and now bracelet. Knowing I can help one other person out there remember their child and to help the child live on with their mommy and daddy's life...is what keeps me going. Is why I keep making and will always make these items.


We send her messages every year...this year our first attempt failed miserably and they are still probably sitting in the trees outside our place.





Emilie decorated her balloon with stickers :)
So we went out and got another one. A combination of hunger and being sick...we picked one from a grocery store...and well the pickings we sort of slim...


But it also sort of reminded me of a friends dear bunny that just passed away a few days ago...so it was fitting :) This one flew ... accept it was dark out so no video of it.

3 years...over.

Celebrating your birthday

So everyone got to see pics of the cake, but this is what INSIDE the cake looked like. I totally put in purple and pink sprinkles. Next year it needs WAY more though :)


Here's little sis enjoying a piece :)

Thank you Grant, Ashley, Ryan, and Tom for coming over and celebrating with us :) Ashley even remembered to wear purple which was pretty special for mommy to see :)

Celebrating Kaitlin's memory is super special and the little things my friends have done have touched me.

I also want to send a thanks out to Brandie and Michelle who sent me pics of the candles they lite on her birthday and sent me pics :)

Happy 3rd Birthday Baby Girl

Mommy made you your cake this year. It took her all day but she is happy with the result. And there is a special surprise in the inside...it's purple and pink funfetti cake :)


Your little sister is showing her love by being dressed in purple ofcourse :)


She also insisted after stealing your kitty cat and purple teddy that they needed to be put up on the speaker with your book.



Another year has gone by. Looking at your little dress brings it all back. Angel was perfect size for your outfit mommy was going to bring you home in. So she's going to wear it for awhile.


We hung up Grandma's blanket too for this year. At the end of the two weeks it's going to be packed safely with your things. Mommy hopes someday she has a big house and can leave these kinds of things out all the time.


Here's a close up of Angel in your outfit, along with a candle burning bright.


The dress you wore for one of our favorite pictures.

As always here is your birthday balloon :) A butterfly this year.

Emilie helped this year. She carried the balloon out and even let it go for me :)

Another year may have passed but your will never be forgotten. Mommy made you a new video this year too. Hopefully this one won't get the music taken out of it since the song is free to use for things like these. Know little girl your with me always. Love mommy.